a week ago, i came up with a hilarious gag. i usually think of them at the worst times, but this was perfect: enough time to set up and test before 1 april, no one nearly vigilant enough to Check if Snowdin is Online.

a few months back, when cronut went down, yours truly backed up the keys, the entire database and the entire uploads directory.
everything is saved, around 30GiB compressed on my local hard drive.

me and allissa hopped on a call and spent several hours unpacking, recompiling, and configuring akkoma on constellatory.net infra, then pulling it up for a few minutes to see if it works. it did!

YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE DEGREE AT WHICH HOW I COULDN’T THINK OF ANYTHING THE PAST WEEK.

the datetime is 31-03-2024T23:55:00 UTC. the cron jobs we set up didn’t fire. aaa panic panic panic
ok akkoma’s up OH NO it’s constellatory akkoma aa panic panic panic
ok it’s good now i think

the datetime is 01-04-2024T00:00:02 UTC.
i make a post saying ‘hi everyone’ and boost it, as does allissa, and as does lucy. everyone freaks the hell out.

3 minutes later, ALLISSA’S HOME INTERNET GOES OUT. we are not sure yet if this is immense amounts of traffic thru federation, or, as it would later be revealed, a hilarious and painfully ironic coincidence.

snowdin then goes up and down and up and down, allissa hard resets the modem, and it goes up— for 3 seconds. here i call the plug.

snowdin was supposed to stay up for one day exactly, and go down at 00:00:00 the next day, but i can’t let this amazing opportunity pass. this is too funny. i love this. i hate this so much.

thank you for your amazing responses of joy, surprise, confusion and sheer fear at my raw power. this was fun. thanks for all the memories.

a special thanks goes to @itzzen who had to bear with me through all this, and is now trying to figure out what’s wrong with her infrastructure. ily goober <3

oh, and a note: none of the posts or interactions will be saved. consider this ephemeral, like most april fools gags.