List of weird love languages

gift taking → if I love you I start stealing your shit
gift receiving → if I really loved you I'd be getting gifts from you
quantity time → if I love you we'd spend a long time apart
quality space → if I love you I organize my room
words of deformation → if I love you the meaning of words in my vocabulary will shift
facts of service → if I love you I tell you useful tips
acts of servine → if I love you I act like servine, the pokémon
mental touch → if I love you I'll preform brain surgery on you