musings about privilege, dysphoria, and music
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last night i had a really good discussion with a friend during which i figured out why radiohead is so close to my heart, and in specific why OK Computer hit me the way that it did on first listen
OK Computer is, almost in its entirety, about feeling like an outsider in a system where they feel alienated, but not oppressed. it's about guilt from benefit. it's about catching yourself acting like a cop. it's about hoping aliens would come and take you from this world where everyone has silly problems they'd solve if they talked to each other. it's about your anxiety singing to you how it's there no matter where you go. it's about wanting to escape this polyethylene world you've benefitted from, with fake plastic trees, and about finding solace in death
i found it as i was just coming out to myself and my close friends, way before i even started working towards social transition, in this limbo state where i felt like an outsider even though the system was in favor of me. i empathised with karma police and paranoid android highlighting the worst (and loudest) parts of the self, the internalized hate and privilege, and the dysphoria that comes with it. it also made one of us a robot probably
at this point i like other radiohead albums better, and i believe that some are definitely more approachable (even listenable) than OKC, but i relate to them less, and i probably wouldn't have given them the chance had i not loved the sad robot album
give it a try if you feel like it. it also happens to be one of the most influential rock albums in existence. and if you do, please give it a good listen, front to back, on the remastered version from 2017. <3