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im elanor lucia bugbelle . but u can call me ellie
agender femme angel
musician & visual artist
known for yearning and shitpost and sometimes both
it/its . she/her is ok tho
https://en.pronouns.page/@elliefromdog
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dnt b lewd 2 or reply w smth of that nature to me n dnt flirt w me if we aren't friends outside of fedi plsnthankyouuuuuuuuu
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ask questions : https://retrospring.net/@elliefromdog
listen 2 music : https://soundcloud.com/nocturnnne & https://nocturnnne.bandcamp.com/
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alt : @ellie@woem.space
rocks : @ellieposting@brain.worm.pink

@authen i’ll be direct instead of silently malding abt it but if i dont like how u handled this situation at all . theres no one big direct fuckup but i ask you Please , in the future , please handle situations like this with more care n delicacy . i can understand posting whatever out of anger and that’s fine . i just ask that u take the time to cw your shit n handle these topics with the sensitivity they require instead of turning a potential traumatic situation into something more akin to Twitter Drama .

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meta , grooming
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as one final thing to add on , i want to throw my two cents in the ring on the discourse around this as a victim of nano's :

do i beleive someone can have headmates that are younger then they are ? yes . Do i beleive that would excuse someone from something like this ? ABSOLUTELY NOT !!! i dont know why the consensus here is either "no thats stupid plurality isnt real" or "no that excuses nano of this" neither of these things R True n while the first one is just disrespectful the second one is Beyond understanding to me . if u looked at this situation with any inkling of nuance instead of making uneducated guesses , rage takes , and excuses out of thin air you'd come the same conclusion .

and also - cant fucking beleive im saying this - stop saying "trans girls calling their partners sister is a big plot puppeteered by predators to groom everyone" Listen to yourself . That is the most insane sentence ive ever heard . instead , criticize the way these people normalize sexual depictions of underage characters to coax their victims into thinking whats happening to them is ok because That is a real thing that happens ! it happened to me when i was 15 ! dont go round saying these insane things that have no relation to what has happened to people nano victimized . focus on what victims have to say before u throw your completely unrelated conspiracy theories out there like theyre fact

RE: https://yearning.gay/objects/46c90db6-115b-47e1-ac75-3703f69a35ca
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meta
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yall making jokes n going “i told u so” is disrespectful as shit for the record either handle this situation with maturity or respect or dont fucking talk about it at all

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meta , grooming , my experience with nano
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im sorry i Cant write alt text for this even copy and pasting it in makes me feel so fucking gross

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meta , grooming , my experience with nano
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this shit is rlly scary to talk abt and i was gonna stay silent unless i had reason to beleive anyone was in danger , but with things have played out i feel i can get this off my chest - nano engaged in sexual roleplay with me when i was 16 and they were 20 . this wasnt a headmate situation either - this was directly nano . nano directly talked to me , i directly addressed them by name , there was no headmate fronting here . This was nano .

the next three paragraphs correspond to the screenshots , in order .

i had confided in a friend about what had happened . i felt immensely guilty at the time because i was the one to initiate it and thats part of why ive kept it to myself for so long , i felt like i was responsible for nano doing this shit with me . this friend told me that nano had been doing the same thing with her , but supposedly had moved past it all . i was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of confronting nano but with them still interacting with me constantly , i had to eventually . it was too mentally taxxing to not .

i confronted nano , explained my mental situation , and asked for an apology . looking back , i very much regret doing this . i was only 16 , and i kept shifting the blame off of nano and onto other things because i didnt want to face the reality that i had been groomed again . it happened to me when i was 15 and i was so so scared of it happening again . i was far too kind in my initial dm and it does not reflect my current thoughts .

while at the time , nano's apology felt sincere , i still never stopped being afraid of them . since that day ive remained mutuals with them and interacted with them , and while some may point to this and say , "you still talked to them ! you cant have been that badly affected !" , i'd like to give more context about how i deal with situations . i am incredibly conflict averse and usually try and do whatever i can to avoid it . i'm also very susceptible to "fawning" - when victims activley interact with their abuser for fear of what'll happen if they don't , as a way to try and cope and make the abuser seem less scary to them , etc . that's what i was doing .

recently , over the last months , i had began thinking of going public with this . the more i read my own message to nano the more i see just how much i downplayed what had happened to me . the more i read nano's response the more the wording irks me - the use of the phrase "i couldn't hurt a fly" specifically cuts deep . because i should've known thats not true . nano Could and Did hurt people ! like me ! and in my own mind i had began to realize that no matter what instigated it , nano was still more than willing to participate in conversation of fetishes and kinks , and activley enjoyed participating in sexual roleplay with a 16 year old . it was on them to stop that from happening . not on me .

there were quite a few reasons i never spoke up about this , one being how long it took me to realize that i shouldve never even taken that apology in the first place , but one big reason is that i had seen how nano reacts to stuff like this being public . while i Hate what they did to me , i do not want someone's suicide on my hands , and seeing how volatile nano was at times scared me . and if it wasnt going to be threats of them committing suicide , i was shit scared of nano leaking all of the dms of sexual shit i said at 16 . sure , there's nothing directly horrible or gross and i didnt fear that id get judged and shunned by my friends because of something i was into , but it was just such and embarassing thought . I haven't done anything similar to that kind of roleplay Since this happened , and everytime i look back at it i cringe and wince . it's incredibly scary to know i could have my privacy breached , intimate details exposed , and that i could be embarrassed like that .

i had decided in my mind that i wouldnt be public about this unless it was confirmed to me that nano had not in fact stopped this predatory behaviour . today's events couldnt say that any more clearly . im sorry for any spelling mistakes left in here , i frantically wrote this at 1am on my phone . i need to move past all of this .

ive excluded any direct screenshots of me or nano saying anything sexual , because nano admits to having sone this with me in the third screenshot . though , for clarity's sake , i will reply with a few messages of nano being flirtatious and sexual towards me .
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@anathema have U tried asking them for more

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god loves me and i am one of his prettiest angels and we will all dance and love each other in heaven n everything will be awesome
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lyrics
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He fixes me
Put that arm back where it fell from
And watch me scream
The pain is worse than when it fell
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@ellie the girl version of im # 1 so why try harder

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all i need is an evil bisexual woman

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geniunley the hardest shirt of all time

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Here we #Go

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im just like tinkerbell honestly

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extratone is so funny cuz yes this 8 hour long song with 50 sections is the outro track to a 36 track album and Yes it’s peak https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGBhB_PnISI

RE: https://yearning.gay/objects/5ccd63e8-5c07-4520-a31b-787c95bd5951

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@elysia my fault ive convinced myself 90% of oomfies are my mother

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ppl say they “like all genres” until u play them an extratone track pensivepeace

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this song fundementally altered my brain chemistry for the better when i first heard it i swear to god . listening to this was like seeing a new color https://soundcloud.com/myridmusic/invader-stim

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Made You Look !

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@elysia WHEN IS THE NEXT YAOICON AND AM I ALLOWED TO GO

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